Ghosted: It's Not You, It's Me

Welcome to the new series, Ghosted!

ghosted (v) When you reach out to someone and get nothing in return

Pastor Eli Nelson gave an awesome and convicting message on how to succeed in relationships with others, which is based more on how you respond than you think.

"My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends. You are my friends if you do what I command. I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master’s business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you. You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you so that you might go and bear fruit—fruit that will last—and so that whatever you ask in my name the Father will give you. This is my command: Love each other." John 15:12-17 (NIV)

You can't control other people, but you can control yourself.

When we enter the territory of judging the posture of someone’s hearts, we are entering into the territory of what God is supposed to do and we are not. It’s clear that we don’t always know what is going on in someone's heart. If we are trying to judge their every intention, we can’t receive any gift, compliment, or affirmation for what it is, which is an act of love.

“When you see someone’s actions, you cannot judge their heart's intentions. Only God knows that.” Pastor Eli Nelson

You are the product of your relationships.

A true friend doesn't just agree with you all the time. They will challenge you and encourage you to be the best you can be. But how many times a day do we think about everyone else before seeking God’s voice in the circumstance? Pastor Eli brought attention to the need for therapy in our day and age. It's important to know that friends and yourself are not therapists. We can go to those people to confide in them, but that is different than working through the trauma you've experienced in your life. We discussed that if you really want something, you will find it. Whether it be gossip, validation, and/or affirmation - you will find what you are looking for whether God is in it or not.

“Be careful whose voice you give real estate to in your life.” Pastor Eli Nelson

Enemies of Relationships

• Our opinions
• Gossip
• Isolation
• Lack of vulnerability

"Every way of a man is right in his own eyes, but the Lord weighs the heart." Proverbs 21:2 (ESV)

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